Adult usage only. May produce NSFW content.
A government experiment to create intelligent microbial life fails, but a small sample is taken home and is eaten by an unsuspecting civilian.
Story concept blatantly stolen from When The Yoghurt Took Over.
I want to believe that it’s not my fault.
It is - it totally is - but I didn’t do it on purpose.
And while, if you had asked anyone ten years ago, “Hey, would you like your body and civilization to be hijacked by this psychic hivemind of hyper-intelligent yoghurt?” they would have obviously said no, there’s nobody alive today that would ever want things to go back to the way they were.
But I’ve skipped ahead, so let’s rewind for a second.
It started in a lab, in a country, funded by a government. Not that any of them exist anymore. I’d managed to sneak my way into a high pay, low responsibility position thanks to a doctored resume and a friend of a friend shuffling some files around.
The team I was assigned to had just completed phase one of their latest project: Genetically engineer intelligent life. And by complete phase one, I mean get greenlit and funded to actually start work.
I couldn’t tell you the exact science going on behind the scenes - like I said, high pay, low responsibility - but what I did understand was that they wanted to start with a microbe that was easy to cultivate in an environment hospitable to humans and didn’t pose any poison or toxicity risks.
Why microbes? Well, the plan was to have each cell be part of a larger network, kind of like how a single ant is pretty stupid but an entire nest is apparently much smarter. At least that’s how it was explained to me, and I was willing to take their word for it.
Anyway, we started with lactobacillus; the yoghurt bacteria. Yes, just like in that one episode of that streaming anthology. And frankly, compared to how things went …
Zoe had a wonderful life! That was until everything just went wrong. No relationship, no job, and most of her stuff got stolen. Zoe finds herself the Queen of a host of mind-controlling parasites. And she figures it's about time that she takes her life back and more.
Zoe slowly poked at her eggs as she munched on a piece of bacon. It was a little crispier than she had hoped, breaking easily in her mouth as she chewed. Her mind was adrift, not focused on the food but on a possible announcement today at work. While she had only heard sparse whispers and rumors, there was a chance that her division was up for a promotion. Her toes curled at the thought of being able to finally move up in the workplace. After all, that meant better hours, better workloads, and a better paycheck. She had been putting in the work over the past few weeks in hopes that it would put her in the spotlight. There really wasn’t anyone else better suited for the position than her.
“I can just feel it! Today is the day that everything changes for the better!” Zoe said as she bit down again on some bacon. She wiggled a little in her chair and kicked her legs excitedly. Zoe grabbed her phone and sent another text to her boyfriend, expressing her delight, before realizing the time.
“Shoot! I need to get ready! I can’t be late!”
Zoe finished up the last of her food before she rushed to the bedroom to pick out her clothes. She decided on a nice purple cotton tee that had a bit of a deep V-neck to it and slipped it over the black bra she had on. She ruffled through her drawers before she found a navy blue pair of leggings that she put on over top of her pink satin panties. She grabbed her uniform coat, which was neatly hung up on a coat hanger and put it on.
“Looking promotion ready,” Zoe said as she adjusted her clothes in the mirror. She …
Bethany is in a hurry to find something to wear to this year's halloween party, so when a stranger offers to sell her an amazingly details mask for cheap, she jumps at the opportunity
Bethany hated Halloween.
Actually, that wasn’t true: It was an excuse to party, and that was all well and good, but the obligation to dress up in costume was a pain in the ass.
Put in too much effort and you were a try-hard, put in too little and you were a buzzkill, pick something too popular and you were basic, pick something too obscure and you were pretentious.
Last year Bethany had tried to play it safe by dressing up as Harley Quinn - along with what turned out to be 99% of her social circle - making for some very cringeworthy selfies with the party’s lone joker who was way, way too into it.
This year she’d put it off far too late, and suddenly it was 3pm on the 31st and she still hadn’t picked an outfit. Her boyfriend, Jason had made some well-meaning but ultimately unusable suggestions - he was going as another DC character, but that wasn’t a dice she was ready to roll two years in a row.
Instead, she found herself thumbing through the racks of a party supply store, despairing at how irredeemably tacky the available costumes were.
“Can I help you with something?”
Bethany jumped, turning to find someone quite a bit younger than herself - probably still in high school working part time - standing beside her.
“Mika” said her name tag.
With no energy to pretend and truly just wanting a moment to vent, Bethany sighed. “Honestly? Probably not. I’m desperate for an outfit for a party tonight, but I’m not THIS desperate.”
Rather than taking offence, Mika rolled her eyes in agreement. “Yeah, it’s a bit shit, hey? What were you looking for?”
Bethany tried to convey in expression and gesture what she couldn’t in words, and to …
Everyone in a relationship gets asked the question eventually.
“Would you still love me if I was a worm?”
Lee rolled over in bed to find himself nose to nose with Tania, his girlfriend of almost a year.
Tania looked back at him without a hint of guile in her expression.
Lee sighed and closed his eyes. He had been expecting this question. Dreading it, even. By all accounts, the only “right” way to answer was basically to lie.
“What?” He said, buying time.
Tania averted her eyes in feigned nonchalance.
“I dunno, I just feel like if I was born as a worm, you wouldn’t like me.”
Lee spent some time carefully assembling a truthful answer.
“Tania, if you had been born as a worm, it would have been very difficult for you to use the equipment at the gym where we met. Furthermore, I would suggest that we would have struggled to bake together, sing together, go drinking together and… well, all the other ways we enjoy each other’s company together, and that would certainly put a strain on the relationship.”
Tania had turned back to look at him as he spoke, though it was impossible to tell from her expression if he was making a strong case or not.
“On the other hand,” he continued, trying for humour. “I’ve seen plenty of worms while gardening and while I’m sure they’re all just as charming, intelligent and thoughtful as you are, I can promise you that I’m not about to run away with any of them.”
Tania looked at him for a little longer before rolling away onto her back and staring at the ceiling.
While Lee had been expecting to be memed at some point during their relationship, he had not been expecting such an apparently serious response.
“What if,” Tania eventually said. “You woke up …