Adult usage only. May produce NSFW content.
Yeah. A romantic vampire story because that's never been done before. But this time, no one here is perfect. The sex isn't the best and the humanity's still there. Sometimes there's less than desireable qualities in females that take away from the act. Minute men do exist (No, this isn't projection at all. Shut up.). But the important thing is to remember those factors shouldn't be the end all be all when it comes to the enjoyability for sex. At least in my eyes. Think what you want. Enjoy.
Beatrice sits on her throne, basking in the spoils of her riches. Every foe that she’s come up against has been vanquished and devoured without much effort. She has the highest bounty on her head. She’s easily the most powerful vampire the world has ever known. Her prestige is unmatched. She’s unstoppable. No one can compete with her. That is, until today.
Her relaxation is cut short as she hears someone kick her doors open. She places down her wine glass, staring daggers at the culprit. She then grins as she notices it to be the well known bounty hunter, Ulrich Fleece: slayer of all beasts, natural or unnatural. Conqueror of those tormenting the innocent. Obtainer of the last stand in every battle he has ever been a part of. Or in Beatrice’s eyes, all except one.
“You have a lot of nerve,” she starts with a light chuckle, “Only a fool would dare intrude so suddenly and so rudely.”
Ulrich doesn’t say anything. He just cracks his neck, staring down the ferocious vampire before him.
“Hmm, a man of few words. That’s understandable. Talk is cheap. Well, since you’re a man of action, I wouldn’t want to keep you waiting any longer. I grow famished, anyhow. Have at you, knave!”
She stands up from her throne, taking off her robe, revealing her battle gear: blood red drawstring shorts with a black outline and a black bra with a red outline. But just as she manages her arms through her sleeves and gets in her battle stance, Ulrich just presents to her a piece of paper. This completely takes Beatrice off guard. Confused, she says,
“What’s that?”
“Come over here and read it,” Ulrich says, confidently.
Confused even more, Beatrice teleports over …
Exploring another world is always neat. New places, new faces, and new ideologies to compare existing ones. It's just a good time all around.
“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, blast off!” I announce to the crew.
Funny how something as simple as that still sends chills down my spine. Granted, it isn’t really relevant in this case. Ships and rockets are completely different. But I don’t care. It’s fun.
I wave at family, friends, colleagues, and everyone else gathered around to watch us take off before finally putting a year’s worth of dreams and plans into action. I start gaining momentum, preparing to take flight as everyone else braces themselves. Once I gain enough speed, I bring us off of the ground and retract the wheels. We are now airborne. I guide us all the way to the top of the world, taking in the last sight of the beautiful land that I’m gonna get for 6 months. See you soon, guys. Once I’m far enough in the air, I bring my hand hovering above the thruster controls, preparing for the jump.
“Alright, hang on, everyone,” I warn, turning to my crewmates, “It’s gonna get a bit bumpy.”
After they grab onto their solid objects, I activate the thrusters and go full throttle, pushing us through the thermosphere all the way to the exosphere with the g-force proving to be strong, but us proving that we’re stronger. You’re nothing to us, science!
Once we breach past the last layer of the Earth, I ease up on the acceleration, bringing us to a stable cruising speed. All of us take a breath, relaxing as we head toward our target. I then decide to lighten the mood even more by turning on the intercom and saying in my best pilot voice,
“Attention, passengers, this is your captain speaking. You’ll be happy to know tha-”
…
A story involving the #1 fantasy of every heterosexual male who has ever touched the gournds of the Earth coming to frutition: obtaining boobs on their person.
God, I’ve missed this. This is all that I’ve wanted for so long; a stress-free day, spending time with the people that I don’t hate. No books, no meaningless words, no packets, no slides, no worries. Just being in the front yard, tossin’ the ol’ pigskin around with my pop and lil’ bro. I hate how I just took moments like this for granted. Times like these were always the best.
“Yo, Chad, how many 1’s and 0’s would it take to simulate yourself a girlfriend?” dad jokes, tossing the football to Jason,
“About as many as it would take to shield everyone from the glare of your bald head,” I joke back, earning a laugh from everyone,
“Joke all ya want. I still got your mother, didn’t I? How do you think I got with her?”
“A bad dare and terrible luck with drawing straws?”
“Alright, smartass, that ‘Bad dare and straw drawing’ got ya here.”
“And I’m forever grateful for mom’s friends.”
We share another laugh as Jason passes the ball to me. I toss it to dad and he says,
“Alright, poindexter, let’s see if your reflexes are as quick as your mouth. Go long.”
I do as instructed, running back as he draws back for the throw. Once I’m far enough, he throws his signature “Perfect Spiral” directly towards me. I keep my eyes right on the ball, being sure that my momentum matches it perfectly. Then, unsurprisingly, it lands directly into my perfect hands. And I waste no time. I charge right back at him, aiming for the street lamp right behind him.
Jason then charges at me, stepping in the way between me and my goal. Big mistake, little man. We charge closer and …